Nicky DeLange
You probably receive catalogs in the mail all year round. These mailings offer everything under the sun for sale. Some of the items they have for sale are actually the perfect solution to all sorts of pesky problems around the house.
I also find them useful for providing ideas for me so that I can rig up my own home-made gadget or gizmo to do the same thing, and it doesn’t cost me anything. This is why I take the time to browse through the pages of these direct-advertising attempts to part me from my hard-earned cash.
But sometimes I find items in those pages that defy all logic. These are things offered for sale that defy common sense. I find myself wondering: “Who thought that was a really good idea?”
I mean, seriously, did people actually sit through a presentation on this object and actually say: “Hey, that’s a great concept. We really need to market it!”
For example, I recently received an ad touting felt separators – “the safe way to stack fine cookware and china”. For only $4 (thanks to a special sale), I could have 14 of these fancy felt treasures to protect my dishes, pot and pans.
My answer? Two words: paper plates.
You can buy a pack of 100 paper plates for between $1-$2 at any dollar-store emporium. Do the math – 14 felt separators for $4, or 100 paper separators for no more than $2. Trust me, your dishes and cookware don’t care which you use.
Next up for grabs has got to be the dumbest idea I’ve run across in years. For only $4 you can purchase a drinking-straw cleaning brush. Wow! Now you can “reuse drinking straws without worrying about what may be lurking inside”.
I don’t know who scares me more – the person who thought up this idea or the person singing its praises in the ad.
Have you found yourself lying awake at night worrying about what lurks in your straws? For that matter, who reuses drinking straws in the first place? Again, straws are an inexpensive item available in all kinds of discount stores. Do you seriously plan to stick this over-priced cleaning brush into your super-cheap straw and scrub vigorously? It’s not only a waste of money; it’s a bigger waste of time.
But here’s my favorite “bargain”. It’s beyond silly. It may have moved into the Twilight Zone.
It’s the amazing Telescoping Fly Swatter. It’s advertised as the perfect answer to the question: “What do you do with that long-handled swatter when not in use?”
Now there’s a question that’s obviously keeping folks tossing and turning in their beds, worrying all night. Who knows what that swatter might be up to when you’re not using it?
But, for $4, you can
get a brand-new swatter that “stores out of sight
’til needed!”
Honestly. That’s a direct quote from the ad.
The ad goes on to describe leaving the swatter hanging from a hook on full display as “nasty”. Really? How did generations of fly-swatter owners manage to survive with their swatters out where anyone could see them? It’s mind-blowing.
That’s why you need this nifty one that telescopes to just 10¼ inches.
My own swatter is 22 inches long. No one has ever shuddered when they saw it tucked between a large appliance and a cabinet. And I’ve whacked quite a few flies with it over the many years I’ve owned it.
Some of those catalog publishers need to take a chill pill and get a reality check. We obviously live on different planets.
Thank goodness.